Sunday, August 16, 2009
I am a skeptic. I like my assertions served up with a nice side of supporting facts, graphs, statistics and case studies. In my previous incarnation as a market researcher, I had to be very careful indeed about the statements I derived from the data given to me. Still, my propensity to doubt and demand proof goes back way beyond that, too.
This is all very well and, in fact, is probably more the norm than the exception in Western circles. Except now I’m a serious student of yoga, and a teacher sometimes too, so my desire for hard data is often met with frustration. It’s something I’ve thought about a lot, and I don’t think it’s just a yogic phenomenon. It is said that the spiritual believer must simply surrender to his or her faith. In my gut, I must admit that still find that, to a large extent, unsatisfactory.
I read Paramahansa Yogananda’s Autobiography of a Yogi about two years ago, and from the beginning, Yoganandaji put forth that yoga is a science, that none of this was voodoo or psycho-spiritual weirdness, that levitating and being in two places at once was, quite simply, a matter of applying simple yogic practices. Even Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras can be described as a terse, concise and practical guide to Self-realization – I mean, it’s more practical and easier to read than the user’s manual that came with my new mobile phone, for Shiva’s sake.
I enjoyed Autobiography immensely - was even moved by it - but, alas, remained unconvinced. I needed facts.
The great thing is, while I don’t get a lot of resolution where I look for it, it often creeps up on me unexpectedly.
My father-in-law is a genius of a man. Quiet, unassuming and ready at a moment’s notice to flatten you with his mastery of Vedic knowledge. One day, about two years ago, I posed this question: Do you believe in reincarnation? I expected a scholarly discourse, replete with supporting passages from the scriptures and elsewhere. What I got was far more interesting:
“I don’t believe. I don’t not believe. I’m just curious.” He promptly left the breakfast table.
Well, shit. This was not helpful. I am a yogi, shouldn’t I believe in the cycle of rebirth? But that simple statement stayed with me. That statement, although devoid of any of evidence I was looking for, somehow rang so true.
In another scenario, just a couple weeks ago, I had the great privilege of attending a Healing Karma workshop with the esteemed teacher of a very good friend of mine (who is also my teacher). Healing Karma! By God, I was going to get some answers here. And guess what? I got LOTS of answers. But what I remember most, the assertion that stood out among all others, was this:
“There is a difference between faith and belief. Faith is certainty, whereas belief is merely acceptance.”
What I have often failed to realize is the power of my faith, this thing that cannot be quantified but of which I am very certain. Much of what I have experienced in my yoga practice (in all of its forms) has fed my certainty that:
· I am already perfect.
· Love of self is the greatest and most necessary love.
· Every single living thing is fundamentally connected and, therefore, worthy of our compassion.
· Freedom from suffering is attainable.
I’m still a skeptic, but I believe.
